Holli was admitted back to the hospital this past weekend. For details please log on to caringbridge.org/visit/hollihawthorne where I have posted the latest on Holli's condition. Thanks. Diane

Today Holli was discharged from the hospital back to Madison Health care. She has a PIC line in that will stay for the next two weeks to receive IV antibiotics. Holli seemed glad to be back in her room but was very tired and just wanted to sleep so I left her alittle early tonight. I am needing some rest myself and hope to be able to recuperate in the next couple of days. I had forgotten what little sleep you get sleeping at the hospital. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

Today makes a week that Holli has been in the hospital. She had a rough night and day with pain and nausea. She is finally resting comfortable this evening and was able to eat some supper without any problems. Holli had a PIC line put in her left arm this afternoon so she can continue to receive IV antibiotics for several weeks after we leave the hospital. She continues to run a low grade fever that they have been unable to identify the source. When her blood cultures were drawn she had already received a couple of antibiotics which can mask anything that might be growing. The doctor talked like we will be going back to Madison Health care this weekend. I should know more tomorrow.

Holli is doing better. Yesterday she was very talkative and laughing but today is very quiet and sleepy. She is still running a low grade fever even though she is getting 3 different antibiotics. An infection control physician is now seeing her trying to find the source. Her blood count is slowly improving but is still not in the normal range but at least is holding. Heather stayed with Holli last night so I could get some sleep. I never slept the night before because Holli had a restless night. I am back now and will be with her for the rest of her hospital stay. We don't know how long that will be before she is discharged. I am thankful that she is improving. While we are here she is being seen by speech, physical and occupational therapy which is wonderful. They sat her on the side of the bed yesterday and is working with her left hand coordination to help her learn how to brush her own teeth and wash her face. Today when they came in she was too sleepy to be able to do much but hopefully tomorrow she will be more awake.

Holli's color has been better today with her blood level improving. We waited all day for her to be taken to xray for her special procedure. We finally went down at 4:30. They called up to the room to say that she did very well with conscious sedation. They have inserted a drainage tube that is hooked up to a drainage bag located near her left groin. The drainage looks like blood instead of infection but cultures will be sent to the lab. Heather will be staying tonight and tomorrow day with Holli so I can go home and get a little rest and get ready to come back tomorrow evening.

The doctor feels pretty sure that Holli has had a retro peritoneal bleed in the psoas muscle. Her hemoglobin and hematocrit dropped even more this morning so she is now receiving 2 units of blood and will also get some more plasma today also. Because her blood is still too thin she will go tomorrow to have the aspiration and drain inserted in xray. She ran a fever all night and they will continue her broad spectrum antibiotics. I can tell she is very weak because she is very quiet and sleeping alot. The nurses were in and out the room all last night giving plasma, starting another IV, drawing blood and doing vital signs. So it was another night of very little sleep. They did at least bring in a cot for me to sleep on. It brought back memories of St. Lukes Hospital in San Francisco of me sleeping on the cot next to Holli for almost 6 months. I will continue to keep you updated during our hospital stay.

Yesterday Holli started complaining about her left leg hurting whenever she would try to move it. Her left leg is her good side that usually she has no trouble in moving. Last evening we decided she needed to come to the emergency room since she has a history of DVT ( blood clots). When we got here after several xrays and blood work drawn we discovered that she had a urinary tract infection and that her blood level was too thin and running a fever. She was still having alot of pain in her left hip so the ER doctor had her admitted to the hospital. We got to our room about midnight and then at 2:30 AM she was taken to xray for a CT Scan. The CT scan showed fluid in her psoas muscle. The doctor said it could be either be due to a hematoma or abscess. Since her blood is too thin they are giving her frozen plasma today to thicken her blood so she can have that fluid drained tomorrow in xray. She is being given 3 different antibiotics and has a foley catheter in because her bladder was distended. We will be here at least several days depending on what they find from the aspiration of the fluid. Neither one of us got much sleep last night. I am having to sleep in a recliner by her bedside. The good thing is that speech, physical and occupational therapy are all seeing her during her stay here. I will keep you updated on her status. Please keep her in your prayers.

Sorry it has been awhile since my last update. Holli had a swallowing test several weeks ago that she passed. She is now starting to get meal trays that we feed her. She is on soft and pureed foods with thicken liquids. Usually she take but only a few small bites of her meals but her therapist said that she is not concerned at the moment about how much she is eating but getting her use to the process. We are continuing to work with splinting her right arm. It is getting a little easier to do range of motion on her arm and she will relax it at times to about a 90 degree angle.
Last weekend I went to my parent's home and my childhood home town to celebrate my Dad's 90th birthday. We had a great family party. Holli called me while I was at the party and sang Happy Birthday to her Pappy!! It thrilled him as well as all of us there. When I got back this past Wednesday Holli had made me a water color sign ( with a little help) using her left hand that said I Love You. It was my welcome back present. I now have it posted on my fridge at home.
I still have not heard back from my appeal to her insurance company concerning her going to Shepard's Center in Atlanta. Hopefully I will hear something this month.
Holli's friends in San Fran are wanting to use the money they have raised recently for Holli to get massages. I am in the process of lining up someone to come out here to give regular massages. Her therapist here thinks this is also a good idea and should help the tone in Holli's arm and neck. She knows someone that I will be talking to real soon.

This Mothers Day weekend I stop to thank my Lord for all my blessings. Both of my daughters are very precious to me and I am so thankful for all the joy that they bring into my life. It is so wonderful that Holli has come so far and this Mothers Day is able to talk and laugh with me as a year ago I was just blessed to have her alive. Heather is such a wonderful daughter and has been there for me in so many ways . She has become my best friend and rock over the years. I don't know what I would have done on so many days when my strength would falter and I needed her strength. And to my Mom, I thank you for your love and showing me through your life about our Saviours love and how you are always there for our family no matter what the situation. You taught me to be strong and to keep the faith. I love you, Mom.
Therapy has started the serial casting of Holli's right arm. They have it at a 90 degree angle and Monday will take it off and stretch her arm more and recast it. I pray that with the botox and casting that her arm will improve. She has tolerated the casting well so far. She still has her good days and then her not so good days and gets very emotional at times. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.
Diane

Today Holli went for her first botox treatment to her neck and right arm. I pray that these treatments will make a big difference. She will get her next injections in 3 months. Holli tolerated them very well. Therapy is to restart working with her arm again next week.
Holli has been in a good mood for the past week. She is laughing more and seems calm. Some days she gets fixated on certain subjects and can get really upset about her "disability". We are all stressing that she does not have a disability but a brain injury with some physical challenges. She will quickly forget what we tell her and we just have to keep reminding her. Then on other days she will say "funny" things and just laugh at herself and sings songs along with her Ipod or the Arts station on tv. She enjoys being read to and playing Uno card game. She also loves going every Monday to get a manicure. The weather is starting to warm back up so we will be able to spend more time outside before it gets too hot and humid.

Good news Holli's botox injections have finally been approved!! She should be getting an appointment soon for her first treatment. It has taken 5 weeks for this to happen. I am so thankful that we can now start again to get Holli's right arm straightened. She has so much tone in that extremity that she desperately needs botox for us to be able to accomplish this feat.
Holli had a good friend, KT, from San Francisco visiting her this past week. They watched "The Little Mermaid" which they love to sing the songs. We have been having some beautiful spring weather. Holli and I have been going outside and ejoying the sunshine and fresh air.

This week Holli has been back to her old self of smiling and laughing. Her best friend from San Francisco, Eliza, was here to spend three days with Holli. Holli was so excited about Eliza being here. Before Eliza arrived on Wednesday, Holli dictated a letter to Eliza telling her that she was glad she was here and that she loved her. Holli was parked in the dining room at the big window watching for us to arrive. Eliza entertained Holli for the next three days, reading to her, giving her "gifts" and letters from friends back in SF. When Holli's roommate was out of the room , we would put on the music and Eliza would dance with Holli in her wheelchair. Holli again was laughing and trying to make jokes. Holli's big punch line was that she has "spinal myalgia" whenever she couldn't remember what she wanted to say and then just die laughing!! We were able to take Holli outside yesterday and enjoy the sunshine. Thanks, Eliza, for being here for Holli.

I received a phone call this morning from Holli's insurance, Amerigroup, that the doctor denied her going to Shepherd Center. I have already appealed the denial but may not know anything up to 90 days. I am reaching out to resources for help to see if there is anyone we can contact that could help with our case. I need once again your prayers for Holli and for guidance as we continue to pursue this fight to get her into Shepherds Center. I appreciate every ones love and support. I will keep you posted.
Diane

For the last several days Holli has been very sad and having very negative thoughts about her past. She has been remembering many childhood memories that have been upsetting to her. She repeatedly talks about remembering having bad feeling about people and people being mad at her and getting upset about "stupid things". She is talking constantly about all these thoughts and feelings. I keep reminding her that no one is upset with her and that she is truly loved. She gets so worked up at times that she gets a very rapid heart rate, sweaty and her skin is blotched. I know this is part of the healing process but it breaks my heart when she gets so sad and starts bawling or so anxious about her negative feeling. I pray that she will soon find peace and strength to get through this phase of her healing.
Diane

Got a call this morning from my social worker that Shepherd Center has agreed to negotiate with Holli's insurance company. It will be a hard road to get them to agree to send Holli out of network to Atlanta. We still need your prayers.
Harrison is in town to visit Holli and his friend Brody. Harrison was so shocked to see how well Holli was talking last evening. He will be in town until Wednesday and plans to visit with Holli again today. She told me that her memory is fuzzy and it is frustrating not to be able to remember. I know with time that this will get better.

Tuesday Shepard's Center from Atlanta is sending a representative to evaluate Holli to see if she is a candidate for their facility. They are specialized in brain trauma patients and hopefully be able to help Holli progress with her rehab. Of course they have to get her insurance to agree with this move to Atlanta. I am praying that this door will be open to Holli so she can hopefully regain more use of her body. She is doing well with her talking and taking thickening liquids and yogurt. She has been having a very hard time the past several months with severe leg cramps and spasms that causes her to get very agitated at times and other times to cry. We have been trying different medications to try to control her discomfort but she still has been having several rough days lately. It breaks my heart to see her suffering and upset. Please keep Holli in your thoughts and prayers.

Diane

Sunday, Valentines Day, is Holli's birthday. We plan to have a small birthday party for her at Madison with friends and family. It is hard to believe that on the 24 th of this month that it will be a year since Holli's accident in India. What a journey it has been for the both of us.
It is so great that in the last three weeks that Holli is talking more and more and she has begun to start eating again. This weekend she ate strawberry yogart, apple sauce, thicken apple juice and a couple of bites of banana. She thinks they taste "great" but she keeps talking about steak & shrimp, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, broccoli..... It is great that she is wanting food. As soon as we get the okay from her speech therapist I will do my best to get the foods she is craving! She is also wanting red velvet cake for her birthday.
Holli got her new feeding tube inserted this past Thursday at the hospital where I worked for 37 years. It was good knowing the nurses and staff that took care of Holli for the procedure. They did a excellent job and everything went very smoothly. Now I am trying to find a physician that will take her insurance to start her botox injections that she needs for the tone in her right arm ,leg and neck. I am also trying to get Holli accepted to Shepard's Center in Atlanta which is a special facility for brain injury patients that do great work rehabbing patients back to their full potential. I am needing your special prayers again that she will be accepted. They are in the process of reviewing her case and making a decision.
Diane

I know this is short notice but I just got a text from Holli's good friend, Curtis, who lives in San Francisco and is giving a benefit for Holli this Thursday, Feb. 4th at 8 pm. He wanted to be able to get the word out to her friends there in SF. It will be at McTeagues Saloon 1237 Polk SF, CA. They will have Matt the Electrician (from Austin, Tx.), the Mission Street Stranglers and then
Whiskey Pills Fiasco with Jinx Jones. Donations at the door. I hope you can be there.
Diane

Holli and I are enjoying our big snow tonight. We already have several inches and they are calling for it to snow until tomorrow morning. We have not had significant snowfall like this in a long time here in Nashville. I will be spending the night with Holli and sleeping in a chair. I know I will not get much sleep tonight.
Holli has been doing so well with her talking. She usually greets everyone that comes in the room and is usually so polite. At times she can get very angry and shakes her fist or says inappropriate words. When I ask her why she is angry , she will calm down and say...."I don't know". I know this is a part of her brain injury and that we will have to not take it personally when she says or acts inappropriately. She has also been taking alittle nourishment by mouth and doing well. She only wants a couple of spoonfuls at a time but at least this is a start. It is so much fun being able to talk and sing with her. She loves singing along with her music on her Ipod. She still enjoys watching the Simpsons and Friends and laughing every evening. I read her a book tonight that was really funny that really made her laugh hard. What sweet music to my ears!

I am on cloud nine!! In the last week Holli is starting to talk more and more. Yesterday while Heather, her sister, was with her they called me at home and put Holli on the phone. She said "Hi Mom" and "I love you". Today I have been with her and she has said no and yes when I asked her several questions very loud and clear when she was up in the chair. Once we got her back in the bed I asked her could she say her name....she said Holli. I asked her could she say Hawthorne and she said it very clearly. It is not all the time she is talking but it is happening more and more without her sleeping medication. She has said several more words and short sentences today. Tonight when her sister, Heather, came by to see Holli, we got her abc letters out and Holli would say the words that Heather was spelling. I decided to try and see if she could sing the ABC song. She started immediately when I began and did not miss a letter! Of course we had to sing it several times!!!I feel so blessed that this is finally happening and prayers are being answered.

Along with this blessing I am saddened by the loosing of a dear friend last week, Mark ,who was Harrison's Mom's love for so many years. He was such a wonderful man who loved Karen and her family dearly. He was so kind to me while I was there in San Francisco. I will truly miss him. I send my love and prayers to Karen , Harrison and Riley during this difficult time in their lives.

Diane